Looking Glass Self

I am majored in Sociology. When I was in college I was pretty busy with partying and being a typical, stupid college kid; there were always certain classes though and subjects that I enjoyed a lot. A friend of mine who's into sociology and psychology asked me an interesting question today: "Would you be the same person - your core being - if you lived in some other place? If not, which characteristics would remain and why?"

According to the concept of the Looking Glass Self, someone's self is formed based on society's perception of them, it grows based on the interaction that one has with the people in his world. There is this other major dude in sociology, his name is Herbert Blumer and he created this concept called Symbolic Interactionism. Blumer goes along the same lines as Cooley, the dude that invented the looking glass self concept, and thinks that, in a society, people act on things that they themselves give meaning to and these meanings are influenced by social interaction with others, and logically, "modified through interpretation".

These concepts are interesting because we can apply them to our daily stuffs, our lives. Everyone can; so I started thinking about how I could mash the theoretical concepts with my real life and my relationships, and, as my friend put it - my core being. It's a well known fact that on the Internets everything seems to be dramatized and exaggerated and inflated. In an online community the concepts that I've mentioned earlier can be applied with ease, because even though it is a virtual society it still works on the same grounds as a normal society that happens in the "real world".

So, I am part of this virtual society, where I met the guy I want to make out with and stuff, he is part of this society also. And here we can ask the question - well, if you two would have met in the real world and interacted with each other on a normal level, say, in a bar or something, would it have been the same? Based on physical appearance and charm alone I would say yes. But this is the thing about online communities and communicating with someone online - it just gives you this feeling of ease and empowerment and balls because even though you realize that they are as human as you, have a body, have bones and feelings and a brain, they're still not real. The concept of looking glass self comes into action when you start to develop some sort of feelings for the people in the virtual world, so it applies there too.

In our case I think it did happen quite hard in the beginning, which is normal, because one feels like they need to impress the one they like, and that is OK because we all do it, being aware of it or not. If Brett and I would have talked only on chat, without getting to see each other or hear each other, our relationship would have been based on the two concepts i've mentioned to a higher degree - we would have tried to be acceptable to each other based on what society thinks is pleasant and awesome. But seeing as we communicated as "normal" as possible - web cams, mics, letters - the concepts don't apply as much - it was just too personal.

Getting back to my friend's question - hmmmm....if I lived in another place I really can't imagine any other place other than the States, because it's where he lives for now. Would I be different? Maybe, in a sense. I would be different because I would have to be more adaptable. America is very different from Romania, in a lot of ways, I would have to learn a lot of things and I would have to be ready for a lot of things. Would that change my core being? No, it would absolutely not change my core being. You see, if I move there and if Brett moves here it would be a little bit hard for the concept of looking glass self to be applied; we would be living in a new society, new cultural ideologies and just new lives. So the premise that society affects your self would be a bit difficult. We wouldn't really know a lot of people, we would have to get accustomed to things and we would be too focused on our relationship to bother to think and pay attention to what society thinks. Hell, we always had to not bother with what society thinks and not let it affect us because society isn't really supportive when it comes to inter-continental relationships. So yes, I think my core being would be intact.

I hope I didn't bore you with the socio-psychological drivel too much...