I had a little bit of trouble finding a good idea, a good subject to write about on here. I am doing this. And I need to know what to offer for it. I hate it quite a bit when I don't feel inspired when I feel like I should be inspired.
And then it hit me (watch out for the pun, it's good):
I fall, we all fall. I do things that affect my life in a major way. You do it, we all do it. I have to handle stuff, so I can be content with my landing, and I am responsible for that myself. And I will never think "I didn't try my best", and that matters.
"Jusqu’ici tout va bien...", everything will be ok. The falling is not what's important, the landing is. No matter how hard we fall.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Mom And Dad
My mom and dad never really had an easy life.
When they met my mom was 17 and my dad was 26. They always said that it was love at first sight, but I think that that's kinda bullshit. My dad was the kind of guy who would always date different chicks every week. My mom was the kind of woman who liked to be responsible, was a straight A student, but at the same time she liked to have fun and go crazy from time to time.
They met in a bar where my dad's friend was working as a waiter and he knew my mom. Classic scenario. Of course my dad was interested in some "fresh meat". The thing is that my mom kinda fell head over heels for him instantly. I guess it's understandable at that age, plus he was a cool cat anyway, and according to what she said and to the photographic evidence - he was pretty hot. They got serious pretty fast but the problem was their parents. None of them approved of their relationship, my mom's mother didn't approve because my dad wasn't rich and didn't go to college and my dad's mother didn't approve because she's just the type of person that doesn't approve of anything if it's not exactly the way she likes it.
They ignored their parents and moved in together in an empty apartment. Literally empty. They slept on the floor for months and would only have one fork and one spoon. My mom said that she was never scared, when I used to ask her how she felt because they were living in such harsh conditions, just so they could be together. She always says that nothing mattered as long as they were together. My mom's parents stopped providing for my mother as soon as they found out that she was disobedient and was living with my dad. My father was working but times were tough so they never had enough money for anything. I asked them if they were happy, at least a little bit, living in those conditions. Their answer was always "yes, we had each other". I always thought that that is such a cliche, that they were swimming in a river of denial, but looking at their relationship and at what they've been trough I guess maybe it's not such a cliche.
They have gone through tough times. Including their relationship. I remember one day, I was 12 or so and the phone was ringing like crazy and my dad would pick up just to hang up the next second, I realized something fishy was going on. So the next time it rang i picked up and a woman was asking for him, she sounded desperate, her voice sounded like she was crying. I told her to fuck off and never call again. When she asked for him she called him by the name my mom was using for him when they'd be cute with each other. I knew right then and there, it was the woman with whom he was cheating on my mom.
Mom and dad had long periods of time when they wouldn't speak with each other. They also used to fight really loud and hard sometimes. I once asked my mom why she doesn't just divorce him if she's unhappy. She said that she can't, she loves him. I never really understood it, until I saw they way they looked at each other at certain times. You could see it in their eyes - it was just what it was supposed to be. They were together, in a real way, in a intense way, in a i will always love you way. And I saw it. And I knew that my mom knows better, because she knows she has a choice.
They had their wedding anniversary on September 4th. 27 years together. And they still hold hands when they walk on the street, and sometimes they stop in the middle of it and kiss.
When they met my mom was 17 and my dad was 26. They always said that it was love at first sight, but I think that that's kinda bullshit. My dad was the kind of guy who would always date different chicks every week. My mom was the kind of woman who liked to be responsible, was a straight A student, but at the same time she liked to have fun and go crazy from time to time.
They met in a bar where my dad's friend was working as a waiter and he knew my mom. Classic scenario. Of course my dad was interested in some "fresh meat". The thing is that my mom kinda fell head over heels for him instantly. I guess it's understandable at that age, plus he was a cool cat anyway, and according to what she said and to the photographic evidence - he was pretty hot. They got serious pretty fast but the problem was their parents. None of them approved of their relationship, my mom's mother didn't approve because my dad wasn't rich and didn't go to college and my dad's mother didn't approve because she's just the type of person that doesn't approve of anything if it's not exactly the way she likes it.
They ignored their parents and moved in together in an empty apartment. Literally empty. They slept on the floor for months and would only have one fork and one spoon. My mom said that she was never scared, when I used to ask her how she felt because they were living in such harsh conditions, just so they could be together. She always says that nothing mattered as long as they were together. My mom's parents stopped providing for my mother as soon as they found out that she was disobedient and was living with my dad. My father was working but times were tough so they never had enough money for anything. I asked them if they were happy, at least a little bit, living in those conditions. Their answer was always "yes, we had each other". I always thought that that is such a cliche, that they were swimming in a river of denial, but looking at their relationship and at what they've been trough I guess maybe it's not such a cliche.
They have gone through tough times. Including their relationship. I remember one day, I was 12 or so and the phone was ringing like crazy and my dad would pick up just to hang up the next second, I realized something fishy was going on. So the next time it rang i picked up and a woman was asking for him, she sounded desperate, her voice sounded like she was crying. I told her to fuck off and never call again. When she asked for him she called him by the name my mom was using for him when they'd be cute with each other. I knew right then and there, it was the woman with whom he was cheating on my mom.
Mom and dad had long periods of time when they wouldn't speak with each other. They also used to fight really loud and hard sometimes. I once asked my mom why she doesn't just divorce him if she's unhappy. She said that she can't, she loves him. I never really understood it, until I saw they way they looked at each other at certain times. You could see it in their eyes - it was just what it was supposed to be. They were together, in a real way, in a intense way, in a i will always love you way. And I saw it. And I knew that my mom knows better, because she knows she has a choice.
They had their wedding anniversary on September 4th. 27 years together. And they still hold hands when they walk on the street, and sometimes they stop in the middle of it and kiss.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Blah, blah..
My last two posts - besides being awesome, if you look closely at the pics, you can see I screen capped the pics and my mouse cursor is visible.
'Course it's been pointed out to me, and 'course I will say that I meant to do that.
:P
'Course it's been pointed out to me, and 'course I will say that I meant to do that.
:P
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Nick's Stuff
This man is so good at what he does. These are the lyrics for Get Ready For Love, handwritten, sketch by Nick Cave made for 2009 Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds Remastered Collectors Editions Box Set. So, since I don't believe in god and this song is about him, I have to clarify that to me it's also about faith, even if it's not the faith in god; it's the faith in love.
So yeah, Nick is a good dude.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Coffee And Cigarettes
Yes, it is.
I love to drink too much coffee and smoke too many cigarettes. I leave them piled up in the ashtray. The thing is that that specific filthy behavior happens only when I have good conversations and am lost in the person with whom I drink coffee and smoke cigarettes. I usually clean up quite often after myself, and I also empty the ashtray.
Almost nothing can compare to smoking and drinking coffee and just being close to the one you love. It's completeness and utter intimacy to me. I don't do it with just anyone, because too much coffee and too many smokes means something special is going on in my world.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Types Of Love
According to this astute definition, among other things, love also means "8: a score of zero (as in tennis)". I knew that but it made me giggle nonetheless. Well, maybe 'cause I am quite immature sometimes and I have a weird sense of humor, anyway...
I started thinking about kinds of love. I came up with a few.
1.Love at first sight - the kind where you see someone and your hormones decide that your brain is worthless and your capacity to control impulses is just a bitch that should not be paid any attention to. So basically you fall in desire, pretty much you just want to fuck your brains out with that person and you don't think about repercussions, not even for one second.
2.Love at second sight - this one is different in that you may already have seen the person before; they may be someone from the group of people you usually hang out with, a new addition to the group, in other cases. They may be someone who is a friend of a friend of your friend. This one is not as crazy passionate (read oh my god i just want to fuck your brains out through your anus) as love at first sight, but it could be. This kind of love can be a bit leveled and it can be based on a lot more things than love at first sight. You can fall in love with that person because you have a lot of shit in common, because you realize that the chemistry is blasting, because you realize that you like spending time with them, because they challenge you in the way you want, and so on. It also has more chances of survival than love at first sight.
3.Love at third sight - this type happens between people who prefer the classic dating and not fucking on the first date scenario. They go out, have nice dinners, after a few dates they go out to dance, after another date they kiss and after a couple more dates they decide to "make love". I have seen this scenario happening in the lives of people who fit the profile of the Stepford Wife and the Handsome Rich Charming Man. It does not have to happen exclusively to people who fit that profile though, it could very well happen between cool people who just like to take it slow. This type can stand chances for survival.
4.Love at fourth sight - this type usually happens between jaded, depressed people. Imagine you are in a sucky phase of your life and you meet someone from your past who happens to be in the same mood. Well, what's better than being jaded and depressed alone. I'm not saying it couldn't be passionate, 'cause I'm sure it could be. So you decide that it's better to be with someone, even if it's an ex or something along those lines, 'cause it's just better than being alone. This one, in my opinion has chances of survival but mostly because of the stubborness of the people involved in the relationship. Think: they would never accept failure twice with the same person, the same scenario - so they become stubborn and decide that it's better to mutually make their lives miserable.
5.Brett and Reea.
I started thinking about kinds of love. I came up with a few.
1.Love at first sight - the kind where you see someone and your hormones decide that your brain is worthless and your capacity to control impulses is just a bitch that should not be paid any attention to. So basically you fall in desire, pretty much you just want to fuck your brains out with that person and you don't think about repercussions, not even for one second.
2.Love at second sight - this one is different in that you may already have seen the person before; they may be someone from the group of people you usually hang out with, a new addition to the group, in other cases. They may be someone who is a friend of a friend of your friend. This one is not as crazy passionate (read oh my god i just want to fuck your brains out through your anus) as love at first sight, but it could be. This kind of love can be a bit leveled and it can be based on a lot more things than love at first sight. You can fall in love with that person because you have a lot of shit in common, because you realize that the chemistry is blasting, because you realize that you like spending time with them, because they challenge you in the way you want, and so on. It also has more chances of survival than love at first sight.
3.Love at third sight - this type happens between people who prefer the classic dating and not fucking on the first date scenario. They go out, have nice dinners, after a few dates they go out to dance, after another date they kiss and after a couple more dates they decide to "make love". I have seen this scenario happening in the lives of people who fit the profile of the Stepford Wife and the Handsome Rich Charming Man. It does not have to happen exclusively to people who fit that profile though, it could very well happen between cool people who just like to take it slow. This type can stand chances for survival.
4.Love at fourth sight - this type usually happens between jaded, depressed people. Imagine you are in a sucky phase of your life and you meet someone from your past who happens to be in the same mood. Well, what's better than being jaded and depressed alone. I'm not saying it couldn't be passionate, 'cause I'm sure it could be. So you decide that it's better to be with someone, even if it's an ex or something along those lines, 'cause it's just better than being alone. This one, in my opinion has chances of survival but mostly because of the stubborness of the people involved in the relationship. Think: they would never accept failure twice with the same person, the same scenario - so they become stubborn and decide that it's better to mutually make their lives miserable.
5.Brett and Reea.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Loff
Saw this cute thing on the Internets and I liked it.
I didn't post the pic 'cause I am lazy. And 'cause it's not so new anymore. Anyway, don't be lazy and click the link.
I didn't post the pic 'cause I am lazy. And 'cause it's not so new anymore. Anyway, don't be lazy and click the link.
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